Friday, December 3, 2010

My Accomplishments

I am not particularly skilled. I am not beautiful, I have no artistic talent, no musical talent, no intellectual talent and very little athletic talent and basically no high level homemaking skills. Being here in Utah helps remind me of these facts everyday...

With that introduction my title must seem off because what accomplishments could I have? Well, they are few and probably not noteworthy but I have noticed that there are a few things I do way better than the people I usually spend all my time with. I have listed some. These are pretty much unique to ONLY ME. (yes, I put that in capitals to make sure you understood who is included in this list and who is not)

*I am so skilled at using utensils that I am not forced to hold my head over the plate to keep from spilling on myself.
*I do not eat my boogers, even as a last resort...
*I have the ability to sit quietly and do nothing. This is obviously a learned behavior that takes years to master.
*I can stand being bored.
*I can smell a poop diaper rooms away and don't ignore it. Again, this is not a skill everyone can possess but I have found if you work hard you can master it.
*I do not force self produced noxious gas on the household public. This takes a rare level of self control which has not been practiced in the "P" family on any level.
*I have the special talent of actually listening to people when they are talking to me.
*I have the special talent of remembering what a person said to me while I was listening to them talk to me.
*I have the unique ability to wear clothes at all times.
*I don't spit or drool while talking. Another obviously learned behavior that requires practice.
*I am capable of taking a bath or shower without splashing/spilling water.
*I can tell the difference between dirty clothes and clean clothes by both sight and smell.
*I can cut my own fingernails and toenails with any available clippers. Definitely an acquired skill.
*I don't freak out at the sight of blood and I act accordingly to the level of magnitude of the accident.

Well people...I feel better. I am special. I am unique and I have hidden talents!!

14 comments:

Sara said...

Hm -- Yeah, the first paragraph basically describes how I feel about Utah. I want to live there to be around the mountains, my cousins, and temples galore. I don't know if I want to be there as a single person, though. It would be glaringly obvious that I'm not at all competition for all the single Utah ladies. :/

Marisa said...

haha, Melissa! :D Do you live with a bunch of boys, or what!!
I miss you. We should be neighbors someday.

Stephanie said...

Well, I would beg to differ, you have major intellectual talent and are beautiful. You're like the wittiest person in the entire Prince family!

Melissa said...

Marisa, I am counting on you and Jenny coming back!!

Jaz said...

Ha! So funny. BOYS!! Can you please come teach your talents in my house? I'm especially impressed by your ability to wear clothes. And kidding aside, I think you are beautiful and talented and fabulous.

merathon said...

that was pretty funny, but what was up with that first "rip on Melissa" paragraph? come on!

Melissa said...

Sara, it true that it is better not to view your self worth based on worldly/gospel accomplishments if you want to live here. My friend Stephanie once said she'd never live in Utah because she can't stand not being unique and being mormon made her unique. I thought it was an excellent insight to why a lot people don't like Utah. I, however, love it and can't wait for you to get here!
Jahnelle (aka Allyse)...I will concede that I am fabulous but I just don't know how I am :)

Leah Prince said...

Well, I think you are an excellent cook, you are beautiful. You can sew, you are good with children, well read, smart in hard things like biology and funny. Its ok if you don't some some of the show off things. Really, few of us do. Forgive the "P" family for their "weaknesses". They just couldn't be trained properly.

Janine said...

This post really, really made me laugh! Thanks for a brief insight into the daily life of being the only woman in a testosterone laden playzone. We miss the craziness of your family, and I am with the others when I say that the first paragraph is not as true as the following bullets. You are awesome, and so are your boys with skillz. :)

Melissa said...

Nor Leah does it seem that my boys can be properly trained either :) Some of these have been life long pursuits that still haven't been master :)

Flying Princess said...

SO funny! We have some of the same talent deficiencies as your family. Even I have to lean over my plate to avoid spilling!

And you ARE talented. Still living sane amongst that many boys is a talent in itself!

katharine said...

With all those talents you are perfectly suited to be a mother of a large brood of boys! Thanks for the laugh :) I need to start looking for my hidden talents.

LEPETITELYNN said...

hahahahah!! your so funny! i actually reading it and amuse by it! hehe

Tyson said...

I know I'm late with this comment (I've been busy as you know) but this is definitely one of the most epic blog posts of all time. Well done!