Sunday, May 15, 2011

The loaded question...

For me, this feels like a loaded question...."Do you want a girl?" or the different forms like "Are you trying for a girl?" "Are you hoping it is girl?"
I know that no one has ever asked me this with any kind of negative intent. It is still hard to answer because I feel like if I say yes then that implies that I don't want a boy and that would not be true. Perhaps a better question is "Do you want a girl or a boy?" and then I could just answer yes and that would be the real truth. I have never wanted a girl at the exclusion of a boy and I have never wanted a boy at the exclusion of a girl. (I am pretty sure this is how most people feel, they love their children no matter what they are ;) I have never been disappointed when I found out I was having a boy and I have never wished that one of my boys would be a girl...

When I was pregnant with my 4th someone asked me if I knew what I was having. At the time I didn't and this person implied that I should hope that it was a boy since I probably couldn't hack it as a "girl mom." Then shortly after one of my "friends" said basically the same thing, that there was probably a reason Heavenly Father didn't trust me with a girl. I tried very hard to not have an identity crisis over this :) Fortunately I have a lot of friends who have all girls and it has never once occurred to me that they "couldn't hack it as a boy mom." They are all excellent mothers who do amazing things and I think that being an excellent mother applied across the board. I would never worry if they got a boy because any child, boy or girl, would be lucky to have a mother like my "girl mom" friends! So, I have kept telling myself this over the years. I figured it was important because if you are going to have a lot of children there is a pretty good chance you are going to end up with at least one boy or girl. Also, it is REALLY OBVIOUS now that I should completely disregard any comment these two people had made about parenting :) So it has been many years and I felt pretty good about whichever way this pregnancy decided to go...

A few weeks ago my friend came over and asked if I wanted the few girl clothes she had because she is moving. I was only 13-14 weeks pregnant. I just looked at her for a second and then something inside of me just clicked and I knew in my heart what to tell her...
I told her yes and I took the clothes........and.......I was right!
We know now that it is a girl :) I sort of forgot to breath when the ultrasound tech told me at first. It wasn't my 20 week, that is in 3 weeks, but they were checking something and I was able to find out it was a girl. Even though I felt like I knew it already it was still a shock!!

I want to make sure everyone understands that I would be just as happy if it had been a boy because first, sometimes ultrasounds are wrong and second, it may not sound that way when I say we are SOOOOOOO excited!! I just can't believe it! I told one friend in the ward on Friday that is was a girl and when I walked into church today I must have had 15 different women come up to me with congratulations and hugs and claps and jumping up and down excited for me. It was funny and I couldn't help but be as excited as they were. It is exciting! It is practically unbelievable :)
The older boys are happy. In fact, I thought Hy was going to cry he was so happy. Seth was not excited but Seth has come around now that he knows her name is going to rhyme with his.
Anyway...that is our news... :)

19 comments:

merathon said...

oh my oh my-- that is going to be one protected little girl with five big brothers! what a lucky little gal she already is!

i am really happy for YOU especially because i have loved the mother-daughter relationship and i'm glad you will get to experience that!

merathon said...

p.s. you're going to name her Meth? that's weird, but whatever! :) hee hee. so, Beth, is it? if so, LOVE.

Sara said...

Well, I just wanted you to have a girl because I was curious about what she'd look like. I hope she has brown hair like John. Then everything would be completely topsy-turvy! :)

Naoma said...

So excited for you!! I agree she is one lucky little girl. She will have to be a tough little girl to keep up with her big brothers!

mkt said...

I just think it's so fun to have both experiences and see how different and similar they can be... SOOOO excited for you and all your boys and your soon to be princess!

Marisa said...

Well, hooray!! :-D What was John's reaction?

Stephanie said...

So I'm assuming she will be Beth then. Wow, it's a good thing you really supported the name Elinor for us because Beth was one of three names we were thinking about. I'm glad I didn't ruin it for you. ;) A big congrats again.

Reianna Cambridge said...

I understand the whole "Are you hoping for a girl?" question. Someone told me once that I should just quit trying to have a girl because I will probably just have more boys. I love my boys but feel just like you about welcoming any baby into our family...the sex of the children is not why we are having kids. With that said...a little change is nice. What a wonderful surprise and I am sure that with all those big brothers she is going to be the most protected little girl ever! Congratulations and have fun buying pink and purple clothes!

Melissa said...

Marisa - It is probably a 3 way tie between me, John and Hy as to who was the most excited. John is the only one who has been planning on this girl since Math.
Steph - I will always love any JA name :) My cousin named her little girl Jane after Austen I was tickled with delight all the way to my toes. I was a huge support of Charlotte for the same reason and I love our Anne even more because of Anne Elliot. On top of that, Elinor is just a plain awesome name but if you had used Beth then we would have probably used Polly which we also love deeply because of Gma. That is our backup :)

Melissa said...

Sara - I hope she has brown hair too, wouldn't that be amazing!! But really the only thing I have ever asked for from Heavenly Father when it came to children is that if he sent me a girl she would have John's family metabolism (especially John's).

Jaz said...

What fun news. :)

Melinda said...

HOORAY!!!!

ajoachim said...

I am SOOOO happy for you. And yes, I would have been SOOOO happy for you too if it had been a boy! But I'm soooooooooo happy for you!(And John!)

Raspberry said...

Congratulations! I think if you have a whole bunch of one gender you should get at least one of the other, so I'm glad you get a girl. I figured I was going to get all boys and was pretty surprised it was a girl. So surprised, in fact, that I picked out a few boy names just in case.:)
Oh, and love the name.... :)

Bruce and Cindy said...

So, you really aren't going to name this baby "Jimmer Jackson?" You could name her "Fredette." It sort of rhymes with "Seth."

Marci said...

congrats! when I read this I started thinking of Jane Austen names and wondering which one you'll go with. May your play room be filled with fairy wands, tutus, a million necklaces and baby dolls!!

Tonia said...

I love the name Beth - it is one of those all time feminine names. Right before this I watched a darling video my sis-in-law made of their new baby boy and now I'm reading that you are having a girl. Dang, I thought I was done.....
Anyhow, congratulations guys! Wishing you lots of pink wishes and let me know if you need clothes!

Anne said...

Can't wait for another little princess to join the family!! SOOOO excited for you!!!! I should've sent something special with Bethany...but just didn't have the time...guess I'll have to send it the traditional way!! :)

That would be fun if she did have brown hair like John! :) But a blonde Beth would be just as adorable!! :)

Hilary said...

Oh man, do I hear you there...
BUT, having a girl is amazing... you will love it and you will love seeing the differences and the similarities. It's just a joy to experience both sides of the chromosomal make-up. I didn't think I could hack it as a girls mom, but apparently I can. :)
Congrats, and enjoy the plethora of clothes you're about to obtain. :)