Thursday, December 6, 2012

Irrational... ;)

Recently I have had to become more involved in life...in social life, well really just in social media. Perhaps you have noticed that suddenly I am commenting on facebook when it had been years since I had done so.
Well...there is a reason. I now run a fb page and twitter account for projects at our elementary school. I am now asking myself why :) You see...facebook and pintrest and google+ and other similar sites cause me to become irrational. That is why before I would never log onto them. Let me emphasize that I fully understand that I have the problem and not the websites themselves :)

Example of my irrationality? Sure...
A few months ago my sister-in-law put up some pictures of her lovely new pantry and explained that it had come about because she had pantry moths. I had never heard of pantry moths. So, of course, I read the link and then did a little more casual research about them. That sounds fine, sounds like a normal reaction and a good learning opportunity...but since that time I have been paranoid about pantry moths. For the first few weeks, every time I saw a little crumb or dirt on my kitchen floor I thought it must be a dead pantry moth/larvae. I have 5 boys, I was seeing "larvae" like 10 times every time I walked into the kitchen. That is a lot of adrenaline rushes in a day :) Every time I got flour or sugar or beans or anything out of the pantry I would spend minutes looking through trying to see if I could spot any pantry moths. It is finally starting to wear off. I had to have a long, mental conversation with myself explaining how even if I did get pantry moths it would not be the end of the world. I would probably survive it :) After that, slowly, my thinking has gone back to normal and crumbs are now just crumbs...

Basically, about 3-4 years ago I realized that I just don't have the mental maturity or personality to take in this massive amount of information and process it rationally. If I get on and you say your kid had something happen to them then I will wonder for days if that will happen to my kid. If you mention you have too many split ends in your hair...all of the sudden, I have too many split ends. Did you make a goal for yourself like losing weight or visiting 5 countries that year or knitting your own sweater? No matter how crazy your goal is in relation to my life I will still wonder if I should do it ;)

Along with this, I realized that there are very few things I have strong opinions about (I mean like political, social, etc...small things I have opinions about) which makes other people's opinions carry more weight. Yet, as many of you know, I do express opinions often probably making it seem like I have plenty of them :) Really, they are just thoughts and not so much an opinion that I care about. This excludes blue M&M's...I have VERY strong opinions about them. I spent some time thinking about it because I noticed there was a difference between the way John and I deal with our opinions. I realized, for myself, it is not so much a case of me thinking I am right and thinking others are wrong but rather, I really just don't want to spend time and energy worrying about my opinions being wrong. Please...talking causes brain overload and my thoughts just start spilling out and I can't stop them therefore causing the expression of opinions...just minutes later I will wish I could pull them back in mostly because they aren't true opinions just jumbled thoughts which I never want people to go around thinking that I think my jumbled thoughts are correct especially when they are always just coming out :) So...we see why facebook and I are not a good match...my thoughts/opinions are a hot mess and everyone's just add to the mess...

Now, however, I have to be on it a lot and my husband is always sticking things on google+ that he says I have to read. My exposure it high but there are many good things about that. My cousins use it a lot and I love being in even better touch with them. I am trying to do better and worry less but if I make a fb or google+ faux pas (or blog) just realize I have MENTAL PROBLEMS....Please feel free to tell me how to fix my mental problems...I don't really have any strong opinions on what will work best (wink, wink ;)

PS - strangely, I think because blog posts are longer and usually have context they rarely seem to bother me. Think of it this way..."Case of chicken pox for my little one" as a status...going to wonder about that for awhile but 3 paragraphs of how your little one got chicken pox, I don't have to wonder about it ;) Thank you to the people who do long blog posts :)

UPDATE: A few people have asked why I was thinking about this...well, it all started with a blog post linked by our friend on facebook. The post was about tithing and John and I both read it. He really liked it, I hated it. What is funny is our reasons...John likes it because the guy makes a few interesting points. I agreed that the points were interesting and thought provoking and we talked about them but I hate it because the guy does not apply his reasoning in a consistent manner. This leaves me the task of coming up with better thought out arguments either for or against his points. I don't like that...
So when the conversation starts John says he really likes it and I say I really don't...our opinions seem very opposite. John then explains all the guy's valid points and what he likes. I agree with him and we talk about them.  Then John tells me that I really do like the article and my opinion is the same as his. Then I tell John no, I still do not like the post. A few interesting points do not make a good post. I still hate it :) John can't tolerate it. If I agree with some of the interesting points then I have to like the post and I have to agree with John because he is obviously right. But I don't care either way...if John is right or the author of that post is right...I do not like your post because I noticed a general lack in areas but my husband can't understand why :) We just have different ideas about "opinions." John believes his opinions become fact because he has reasoned through them. I believe my opinions are just opinions so even if I have a different opinion in a conversation, I can go days wondering if I am right or wrong when someone disagrees or makes a point I haven't thought of...it is too much brain work. John is smart and analytical, I am tired and have a foggy brain...yet, on the surface of a conversation we just have completely opposite opinions and we both seem stuck with them but under that surface we actually completely agree but it is too much work to try and figure that out :)
I blame facebook... ;)

8 comments:

Emily Conkey said...

The queen of long blog posts salutes you! :) I loved your post and I totally agree. Having opinions about things takes too much time and energy. Love you!

Sara said...

Haha -- You might be the only one who likes long blog posts! (Well, except for me, of course.) :)

MZP said...

sorry about the moths.. i can understand the feeling, though... you can only imagine my neurosis about them. but i totally do the same thing. i'm always sure that i am afflicted by whatever plagues anyone on facebook or whatnot. dan and i call it the lice phenomenon. you talk about lice and your head starts to itch. i think we as humans are not supposed to have so much interaction or information. it does cause overload. in a normal sphere of interaction there just aren't so many sicknesses or problems, but multiply times all the people you "know" on the internet and suddenly it seems everyone has crazy diseases and random scary problems. sorry to be the cause of a "lice phenomenon." :)

Melissa said...

No...it is good Melissa! I am glad I know about pantry moths and I am glad that I get to know about your life. Those are the wonderful things about social media :)

Melissa said...

yea Sara...I was thinking that this post is more like your posts than one of my posts :)
Emily...your posts are awesome. I isn't the same but part of me still feels like we live by each other when I read them!!

Tonia said...

Try pinterest for giving you complexes about the things you are not doing that you think everyone else is doing. Knitting! Proper ways of cleaning the bathroom! Making your own furniture!
Great info but I had to sit back and prioritize!!
I love your opinion on your opinions. I am the same way - when I say something it is usually my thoughts. There are actually only a few things I am truly decided on and they are not usually the things people think they are.

Editt said...

If this was facebook, I would've clicked "Like." :)

Melissa said...

awesome editt :)